How to Write Your Own Wedding Ceremony from Scratch
Are you writing your own wedding ceremony from scratch? More and more I see that couples have to write their own wedding ceremony from scratch. So many friends and family are asked to be the wedding officiant, rather than a professional wedding officiant being hired for the wedding ceremony. Even I did this very thing 12+ years ago, when our good friend, Tonny Gardiner, married Larry and I. With that in mind, today I’m going to share a wedding ceremony template to help you write your own ceremony from scratch. I will also share my own full wedding ceremony text at the end. I hope you find this ceremony template useful if you are also writing your wedding ceremony from scratch!
One caveat for this template. This is based on a generic Christian or nonsecular ceremony. If you wish to incorporate different cultures, and customs, go for it! Click through for more information on Hindu and Jewish wedding ceremony traditions. If you are having your wedding ceremony in a house of worship, or are hiring a professional officiant, they will do most-to-all of this for you!
PARTS OF THE WEDDING CEREMONY
As you start to write your own wedding ceremony, let’s talk in depth about the wedding ceremony elements.
Wedding Ceremony Processional
One to three songs. Typically there will be the seating of VIP family, followed by the processional of the wedding party, finally the entrance of the bride/groom/brides/grooms. You can play one song for all of this. Or you could use one song for most of this, and change songs for the final entrance. Alternatively, you might also select a song for the family, a song for the wedding party, and a song for the finale. I probably wouldn’t do more than 3 songs, as shorter song snippets will lose their impact on the audience.
If you guests stood up at the end of the processional, the officiant should now ask them to be seated.
Ceremony Welcome Remarks
This is a general welcome to the guests to remind them why they are gathering. This can be short if the officiant is giving their own remarks later. If they are not giving personal remarks, this section can be a longer section to reflect on the joys of weddings and marriage. This might also be a time when the people who escorted the last person down the aisle is asked a question (i.e. Who gives this woman…?) If no such question is to be asked, then the escorts should hug & kiss the couple before they take their seat(s).
Wedding Ceremony Readings
These are optional; I do see couples do 1 or 2 most often. This allows for some additional content that speaks to you, and gives you a chance to involve more friends or family members in your wedding ceremony. I have blogged some of my favorite wedding ceremony readings: dinosaurs, equality, updated equality, and the velveteen rabbit.
Personal remarks by the officiant
This is an optional section. You shouldn’t write this for your officiant. But if your officiant isn’t particularly verbose, again, you can skip this.
Declaration of Intent to Marry
This is where the officiant asks each person a “Do you…” or “Will you…” question, and you reply with an “I do” or an “I will.” This lets the audience know that you know why you are there and what you intend to do (get married.)
Exchange of Marriage Vows
These are your promises to each other. You say them in this public way to express the depth of love and commitment to all who will listen. Here is a traditional Christian version:
“I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you.”
Exchange of Wedding Rings
This tradition originated in ancient Egypt, and the left hand ring finger is believed to have the ‘Vena Amoris’ or the ‘Vein of Love’ said to be directly connected to the heart. The exchange of rings is a visible representation of the vows you’ve just exchanged.
“_________, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and of the vows I have just spoken.”
Declaration of Marriage
The officiant affirms the power or authority vested in them, and pronounces that you are now legally married.
Introduction of the Couple
Can swap with first kiss. The officiant will say something like “Ladies and gentleman, it is my pleasure and honor to introduce to you, for the first time… .” You will have to decide how you want to be introduced at the end of the wedding ceremony. If aren’t sure about any future name changes, you can say something like “The Newlyweds, Peter and Joe!”
First Kiss
Can swap with Introduction. This can be announced/requested prominently by the officiant, or not.
Wedding Ceremony Recessional
One final song choice that is jubilant as you depart the wedding ceremony space.
REAL WEDDING CEREMONIES
An outdoor wedding ceremony at Woodend Sanctuary, on the lawn outside the tent. Photo by Michelle Lindsay. Click to see more from this Woodend Sanctuary wedding.
A Jewish wedding ceremony at Rocklands Farm in Poolesville, Maryland. Photo by Eric Laurits. Click to see more from this Rocklands Farm wedding.
A terrace wedding ceremony at DAR in Washington DC. Photo by Kurstin Roe. Click to see more from this stunning DAR wedding.
An indoor Catholic wedding ceremony in Washington DC. Click to see more from this DC wedding.
Outdoor wedding ceremony at a private family farm in The Plains, Virginia. Photo by Lisa Boggs. Click to see more from this private home wedding.
An intimate outdoor Jewish wedding ceremony at a private home in McLean, Virginia. Photo by Heather Ryan. Click to see more from this home wedding in Virginia.
Tented courtyard wedding ceremony at the Alexandrian Hotel in Alexandria, Virginia. Photo by Jennifer Gulley.
A tented courtyard wedding at Decatur House in Washington DC. Photo by Connor Studios. Click to see more of this DC wedding.
As promised, I’m ending this post with a link to my own personal wedding ceremony text. Feel free to borrow from it as you desire – I’m happy to help you in any way!
